funny dad jokes about poop
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You may be asking yourself: Do my children really need encouragement — or new material — when it comes to toilet humor? Most kids, after all, are already obsessed with poop jokes and poop puns. They can’t get enough of the poop emoji. “Diarrhea” and “poop” are gleefully thrown out as serious proposals for the names of sports teams, stuffed animals, and pizza orders. And the truth is most of their silly jokes about poop revolve around a world that goes beyond repeating (or singing) the word “poop.”
While the relentlessness of toilet humor and poop puns can be trying for parents, whose only sustained interest is poop that involves potty training, it’s a totally appropriate developmental phase and a rite of passage for kids. So if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. While your kid may not come up with the most clever of poop jokes, hilarious punchlines and comical puns about poop do exist. Here are a few genuinely funny ones guaranteed to delight your kids and even make you chuckle. Check out our pile of fresh ones below:
Poop. It’s a delightful relief when it comes out when it needs to, and it’s an awful pain in the you know where when it doesn’t. Poop comes in a delightful (or disgusting depending on your level of sense of humor) variety of smells, textures and shapes. It’s also the most powerful force in the world. Say what you want, when you hear The Call Of Poop, you OBEY. It literally over rides anything and everything that you’re doing at the moment. It can cause even the worlds most powerful leaders to pull down their pants to obey it’s call wherever and whenever POOP wants.
It also has its own long and colorful list of synonyms and euphemisms that describe the act of pooping and the product that comes out itself. Yes, poop is powerful. It’s also funny and cute. Just Google “cute poop” you’ll see just how cute your poop really can be. And we dare say the number of poop puns, jokes and one liners are as numerous as the number of toilet flushes everyday. Even its name “poop” and its short form cousin “poo” sound cute. So here’s out collection of poopular poop puns, jokes and one liners. Enjoy.
An old man who’s hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. He takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and says, “I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample, and a sperm sample.” The old man turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?” The wife replies, “He said he wants your underwear.”
This morning, as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now, I’m afraid to use the restroom.
A wife sent a romantic text to her husband. She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Whether you like it or not, when you become a parent, you become an expert in poop—jokes, potty humor, and of course, actual poop. You can recite the different types of newborn poops and what they mean, you can change a diaper while conducting an important conference call, and you become a brave soldier who handles epic blowouts with ease. (OK, maybe with relative ease. Some blowouts are a little traumatic.)
In honor of all the pooping that comes with parenthood, we've rounded up our favorite poop jokes that sound like they were inspired by real-life parenting situations, from newborn blowouts to potty training meltdowns. Pick your favorites, share them at your next playdate, and don't forget to pack extra diapers.
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