funny jokes about history

May 14, 2023 Post a Comment

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How much do you remember from your middle and high school History classes? Possibly more important: How much of what you remember was even correct? While it seems true that we’re bound to repeat history if we don’t learn it, it’s also hard to imagine being able to contain millions of years of history in our already pretty darn full mom brains. One thing that can sometimes help you learn and remember information, though, is joking about it. Sometimes jokes are just silliness. Sometimes, though, jokes manage to make a real event laughable. And being able to laugh about it certainly makes it memorable.

But, listen: None of these jokes are going to help your kid pass their AP American History class. Still, they’re probably good for a bit of a snicker and maybe even an eye roll. So, when you’re packing your kiddo’s lunch, write out one of these jokes and stick it in their lunch box. Or, when you’re helping them prepare for their first day of school, tell them a few of these school-centric jokes to take the edge off.

Or, hey, maybe your kids have had enough of your mom jokes for now. Feel free to send these to your history buff best friend or that co-worker with the non-ironic Leaning Tower of Pisa pencil holder.

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Us humans have been around for thousands of years, so it's no surprise that there are plenty of funny historical jokes. From Groovy Ancient Greek quips to Terrific Tudor puns, have a blast with this list of the best jokes about history.

22) There was once a famous Viking called Rudolph the Red. One day, he looked outside and asked his wife to bring the washing in because it looked like it was going to be a wet day. His wife asked, "what makes you say that?" The Viking replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

51) Abraham Lincoln had a very difficult and challenging childhood. Did you know that every day, he had to walk eight whole miles to school? Well, he should've got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

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Elderly Man: “Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic.”Priest: “I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war.”Elderly Man: “I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed.”Priest: “That’s not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive.”Elderly Man: “Should I tell him the war is over?”

Two Russians are queueing up for bread in Red Square.‘**ck this’, says one, ‘I’m going to go and shoot Yeltsin’ and he storms off towards the Kremlin.Fifteen minutes later he returns and silently re-joins the queue.‘Well?’ asks his friend. ‘Did you shoot Yeltsin?’‘No chance. The queue was twice as long as this one’.

On that note, here’s another Soviet one I’ve always liked.A man from the Soviet Union obtains a permit to move to the USA, and his new neighbor asks how he much he likes his new apartment, so he asks him what his apartment was like back in Russia.“Oh, my old apartment was perfect. I could not complain.”So his neighbor then asks him what his job was like back home.“Oh, my old job was perfect. I could not complain.”So the neighbor asks him what the food was like back in the USSR.“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”Puzzled, the neighbor finally asks him, if everything was so great in the Soviet Union, why did he move?The man says, “Here I can complain.”

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