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The lime ordered a beer, the lemon got some tequila, and the pea got a diet coke. The lime and lemon watched pea order, and eventually tried to ignore their sense of disgust at a diet coke. They listen to the music being played, drink up their drinks, and eventually get off the stools and pay. As th…
An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds. He sits down and orders a beer from one hell of a beefy, muscled bartender. He takes a shakey sip from his dark, dark beer, puts it back down, and asks about the lemons as old and shriveled as he is.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the mo…
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, “Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time.” Flattered, the man responds, “Sure… but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?”<…
…and there it was, the finest pastry case filled with a glorious yellow jelly and topped with the fluffiest beaten egg white. I didn’t know what it was so I asked, “Is that a lemon tart or a meringue?” “Aye, it is a lemon tart.” The shopkeeper replied, “yer no wrang.”
It's time to squeeze every drop of funny we can out of these lively lemon jokes! If you're in the mood for more citrus-based humour, perhaps also have a peek at our outlandish orange jokes, fantabulous fruit jokes or maybe some crazy cake jokes? not to mention the gaggle of giggles to be found on our jokes page!
Lemons are one of the sexier fruits, aren’t they? You can’t miss them with their yellow skin and they are made in to some of our favorite foods, desserts and drinks – who doesn’t like lemonade!?
From enjoying that cool glass of lemonade in the summer through to making lemon meringue pies and puddings there are so many opportunities to make some brilliant fruit based puns and wordplay that will leave you groaning and laughing!
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