funny jokes about poop
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Poop. It’s a delightful relief when it comes out when it needs to, and it’s an awful pain in the you know where when it doesn’t. Poop comes in a delightful (or disgusting depending on your level of sense of humor) variety of smells, textures and shapes. It’s also the most powerful force in the world. Say what you want, when you hear The Call Of Poop, you OBEY. It literally over rides anything and everything that you’re doing at the moment. It can cause even the worlds most powerful leaders to pull down their pants to obey it’s call wherever and whenever POOP wants.
It also has its own long and colorful list of synonyms and euphemisms that describe the act of pooping and the product that comes out itself. Yes, poop is powerful. It’s also funny and cute. Just Google “cute poop” you’ll see just how cute your poop really can be. And we dare say the number of poop puns, jokes and one liners are as numerous as the number of toilet flushes everyday. Even its name “poop” and its short form cousin “poo” sound cute. So here’s out collection of poopular poop puns, jokes and one liners. Enjoy.
An old man who’s hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. He takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and says, “I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample, and a sperm sample.” The old man turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?” The wife replies, “He said he wants your underwear.”
This morning, as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now, I’m afraid to use the restroom.
A wife sent a romantic text to her husband. She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Most people find toilet humor funny, even Mozart! With that in mind, we set out to get all the best poop puns and we always follow through! So here’s a real scoop for you – all the greatest poop jokes in one place (does that make it a poop scoop?) Enjoy our collection of funny poop jokes and puns.
A man was sitting at a bar one day when a pirate walked in. The pirate had a wooden leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye.
He was very nervous about meeting them, though, and worried about it all the way to their house. As a result when he got to their front door he was in a state of great gastric distress.
If you enjoyed our collection of funny poop jokes and puns, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more really funny jokes and laughs, including our funny fart jokes, diarrhea jokes, butt jokes, toilet jokes and toilet paper jokes, as well as these:
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