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The majority of thejokes about restaurantsyou’re about to read are short, though there are two long ones with surprising endings. Some of these jokes are somewhat silly, but all of them are clean and awesome. None of them are dirty, but maybe you’ll disagree with me about a few of them. In short, you’ve come to the right place for restaurant humor. Restaurants have never been funnier than here on Humoropedia.com.
The jumper responds: “I drank a shot of tequila, and when I jumped out of the window, the tequila made me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” Then he drinks tequila, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other man runs to the window and watches as the man falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. Soon, the man walks back into the restaurant.
This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology.
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke — What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
And to end it all: "I bet if I gave you somethymeyou couldmustarda response to this complete a-salton language, but for now we're justbeefing around!"
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."
It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.
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