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Just in case it’s uncle-ear, these are the best uncle jokes and puns you’ll find! Only the most hilarious examples are included; there are no monstrous carb-uncles of jokeshere!
“Well,” says the little girl, “Daddy told me to stay downstairs while they went upstairs, but I followed them without Daddy seeing me, and I saw them hugging and kissing at the top of the stairs. Then they went into your bedroom and shut the door, but I went up and looked through the keyhole.”
“I saw them hugging and kissing some more, and then they started to take each other’s clothes off, and they carried on until they had nothing on, and then the lady got on the bed and Daddy got on top of her.”
Not too long later the appraiser calls him: “I’ve finished my analysis, and I’ve got some good news. There’s no doubt at all that what you have is a genuine Van Gogh and a genuine Stradivarius.”
The appraiser says “Well, you can sell them, and they’ll fetch some money for their novelty value. But not millions. You see, the truth is, Stradivarius wasn’t much of a painter and Van Gogh made lousy violins.”
I'm not that old, but when I do reach those years and finally kick the bucket, I'd to go like my uncle did, peacefully and in his sleep.
Unlike the passengers in his car.
I told my teenage niece to get me a jornal
She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you are so old. Just use my phone"
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
People shouldn't joke about 9/11 it's a sensitive subject to people who lost their loved ones including me, i lost my uncle...
He was the best pilot Saudi Arabia ever had.
A kid goes to her mpther and asks.
-"Mom, why is my cousin named Jacqueline?" -"That's because it's the combination of her mother and father's name, Jack and Madeline. -"But why is my name the combination of your name and uncle's-WTF?!!!!
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