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My wife called and gave me a list of things she’d like to do for her 32nd birthday.I replied, “There’s no way can we do all that in 30 seconds!”
My mom called to wish me a happy birthday, and she said, “It feels like just yesterday you were a baby.” I said, “Yeah, but it also feels like just yesterday I had breakfast. Time is weird like that, man.”
He explained, “I chalk up my long life to spending as much time as I can outdoors. I have spent the last 75 years outside, rain or shine, taking in the fresh, clean air.”
“It’s easy,” he said. “When I married your grandmother 75 years ago, we made a promise to each other on our wedding night. We decided that when we had an argument whoever was wrong would have to head outside and take a long walk.”
With my wife’s birthday coming up, I asked her what she would like for a present.‘I don’t know honey,’ she said. ‘I would love something with diamonds.’And so I gave her a deck of playing cards…
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. “We had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…
....thank you for the dad jokes. They may not all make us die laughing and some we've heard you tell a million times over, but the one thing they have in common is that they're told in kindness and they put a little smile on our faces. And living in this crazy world, that's a very good thing. I love you dad.
Today my mom turns 53, and it's tradition that my dad fills the kitchen with posters before she wakes up, wishing her a happy birthday. This year's were some of his worst (best) work.
I was at a restaurant tonight with family, when my dad started singing: "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..." (it was no one's birthday - we all looked confused)
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