funny jokes for school speeches
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When you're running for student council, you ultimately need the popular vote from your peers to win. Since your campaign speech is geared toward other teens, not teachers or parents, you can get a lot more creative and open with a seriously funny intro.
The other candidates are going to come up here and tell you all the reasons why you should vote for them. I'm going to give you only one reason why you should vote for me. As President Donald Trump said, "People would vote for me. Why? Maybe because I'm so good looking." That's right, you should choose me for Student Council President because I've got the face of an angel. Think about it, every time I ask for your concerns, give a speech or land an interview in the school paper you're going to have to look at my face. If you want to make this year and school politics more enjoyable, consider who's face you want to stare at every day, mine or theirs.
I want to become your Vice President so you can all start calling me Veep. It's that simple, people. When I walk down the hallways at school, I want to feel like I'm in one of those YouTube videos for kids where a grown man drives tiny toy trucks around. Veep! Veep! When I'm waiting in line for lunch or the toilet, Veep Veep! When I raise my hand in class or stand before you to give a speech, Veep Veep! So, please give me a moment of your time and if you plan to vote for me after this speech, let's turn this audience into a crowded highway that feels like Friday at 5:00! Veep! Veep!
Your Student Council Secretary really needs to love words. I love words so much, I'll only eat Alpha-Bits for breakfast. And what's more, I'll only eat the cereal letters I can use to make a word. So, say there's a "T," "Q," and "R" left in the bowl, I can't bring myself to swallow them. I love pencils so much, I fail every automatically graded exam because I can't bring myself to damage the pencil by using it. I love writing so much, I've got the wrist of a 92-year-old secretary and I'm only 16!
Here's my running for treasurer speech. If time is money, we're all going to be very rich after this speech. I'm not sure who is responsible for the exchange rate, but I hope it's a good one. As Treasurer, I take money lingo very seriously, so I've crafted my speech to optimize the amount of time we turn into money for our class.
Creating an amusing speech starts with the right topic. In order for kids to add humor, the topic needs to be a bit funny. Therefore, topics like my most embarrassing moment or anything to do with siblings will typically invoke a few laughs. And always remember, this is a speech not an essay so write like you talk.
"To truly understand the most embarrassing moment I've experienced in my 12 years, it is important for me to set the stage. It was my sixth birthday party and all my friends were there. Some were only there for cake, but I was only there for presents, so it's completely okay. I was getting ready to open presents, the main event of any birthday party. My sister Callie, who I affectionately refer to as Drools, was sitting next to me. My mother had just handed me my first birthday present. The moment my hands wrapped around it, I was vibrating with electricity. I was so excited. I was a little worried I might wet myself. Thankfully, I didn't. But something even worse happened. Drools tried to take my present and yanked. Determined to not let Drools ruin my party, I gripped the present harder. But I wasn't prepared for her hulk-like 2-year-old strength. My determined grip wasn't enough. Not only did the present shoot from my hand like soap, but my fist shot back and hit my eye. Not only did I have a shiner for my birthday, but I cried in front of all my friends. This made my sixth birthday the most embarrassing moment of my life."
Persuasive speeches are another great place kids can add humor. Since you can add some great illustrative details and describe in explicit detail what you shouldn't do or why it is bad.
"We all know it is important to follow the rules. But why is it important to follow rules? Well, there are a few reasons. First of all, rules keep us safe. I mean, we all want to jump off the top of the slide and do a triple back flip with a perfect landing. But if we jump off the top of the slide, we could hit Tommy. Then Tommy would cry. You would still nail the landing but Tommy would be crying so that would be bad. Next, rules on the playground keep order. We all know that we are supposed to go up the slide in single file. While this might seem like a pointless rule, could you imagine if we didn't? We would all rush for the opening like gladiators, and we could get stuck in the opening because there wasn't enough room and we didn't wait our turn. Then, they might have to call the fire department to come get us unstuck. They might even need to use the jaws of life or cut the rails off. We wouldn't be able to slide anymore because there were no rails, and that would be bad. So, it is always important to follow the rules to keep us safe and keep order."
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