funny jokes for school talent show

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"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"

When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.

A man walks into a bar with and octopus under his arms. He then stands up on the bar and shouts for everyone inside to hear. "I will bet anyone here 200 dollars that this octopus can play any instrument you give it". Everyone is a buzz and the bartender hands him a guitar that was hanging on the wall. The Octopus takes the guitar and strums on it with great enthusiasm and plays a beautiful arrangement. Another man pulls a harmonica out of his pocket and again, the octopus plays it superbly. A jazz band hands him all of there instruments and the octopus plays them all with amazing skill. Then, a Scottish man wearing a kilt comes up to the octopus and hands it his bagpipes. The octopus, looks at it confusingly then begins to fumble with the instrument. "Ay, you can't play er, can ye" The Scotsman says with a thick accent. The octopus responds "Play her? I'm going to screw her as soon as I get these pajamas off"

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Every week one of us brings a talent down the pub to show the others - this time it was my turn.
I brought along my guitar and after some Dutch courage I began to play.
Within a few seconds of starting the guys started cheering me on, one of them was even weeping, saying how amazing the song was.
I had no idea what the big deal was, I was just f**... A minor.

You can explore talent . aptitude reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean talent . talent dad jokes. There are also talent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Although ‘serious’ acts performed in talent shows receive impressive attention from the crowds, there is always a place and demand for lighthearted, humorous acts. It may sound little off cliché, but humorous acts always make their way to the hearts of audiences.

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“If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.” – Brendan Francis Behan

Participating in a talent show takes a lot of guts, as you have to perform in front of a large audience to showcase your natural endowments. And, if you have decided to enter one, then we sincerely commend you. Performing an act is not as easy as it may sound. There’s a lot of hard work, dedication, practice, and trust (yourself and other team members) involved.

For either a solo performance, a modest group of 2 – 4, or a large group of 5 – 8 students is possible. The first task, before finalizing an act, is to figure out how many people are participating. After this, we urge you to browse through the list below and figure out what will your (or the group’s) “talent” be.

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